I really feel like making some drama tonight. I was supposed to do this in my blog, but earlier today my prof told me to stop wasting my time on it. I wasn't hurt by the comment, it just like "hey, slow down". Sometimes i just can't understand how intelligent people work. Yeah, i know that they have this perception that in order to grow you must use your time efficiently and effectively, but sometimes they forgot that there are things that you do outside of your profession not for inattention. How could you consider your passion as waste? Well let's not deal with that anymore.
Three weeks. That's all left for this semester. And to be honest i am already on the boarder upon holding for this 'MSN' title. There had been lots of self-doubt, second thought, renouncement. This is not what i want. Am i stubborn for going into direction that i desire? Am i unpractical for disregarding opportunities that had been laid down? Did i asked for too much?
Three weeks. That's all left for this semester. And to be honest i am already on the boarder upon holding for this 'MSN' title. There had been lots of self-doubt, second thought, renouncement. This is not what i want. Am i stubborn for going into direction that i desire? Am i unpractical for disregarding opportunities that had been laid down? Did i asked for too much?
You may call me a coward for having courage to quit. You may call me unreasonable for stopping in the middle of pursuit. You may call me stupid for spoiling what i toiled for. But this is not what i want. And day by day i am becoming listless knowing that I am taking steps away from my hope.
And now it feels like i am meandering on infinity. I just want to stop the time and be known when i can already go along on the beat of my existence. I just what to be covered and be point up when i can already fly. But it will never happen. Does it mean I need to live with norms? I can't see life living on it. I want life because i want to live and not because i need to live.
(I should be sending this to an email, but i know someone can't handle my melodrama. And i might be called an emo. So to avoid that, i dwelt here.)
1 comment:
ive always been a fan of your blog. And i am always looking forward for the next entry that youll be posting on it. Some of your entries makes me laugh, cry and think. I know in my heart that you are a good writer :) and i appreciate how you see events of your life to this level and share it with everyone. And my comment for this entry.. I think people can live the life and dream they wanted if they just have the guts to stand for it. People can always step back if they think they cant. A movie once told, that "natatakot o naduduwag ka, kasi nagiisip ka." Meaning we think a lot of the consequences and what ifs in our lives. At kung maisip natin na wala patutungahan ang lahat, we can stop. Wala naman nagsabi na di pwede dba? Aanhin pa ang pangarap at buhay na gusto mo kung di naman attainable. oo, tamang magset ng high goals pero dapat feasible. :) Keep your heads up! Naiintindihan ka.
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