Jingle bells now rocking.

I’m not really a holiday person. I don’t see events as exciting one, and never gaze for calendar to see if there’s any day marked as red aside from Sundays. But upon browsing my twitter account and seeing those tweets, and hearing the Coca Cola’s Christmas tune (that made me fell in love again with the band) I suddenly felt a tweak of sensation that drove me to this area of emotion where I’ve never been before. Unexpectedly, I fantasize what my Christmas would be..

I swiftly see my jacket, red socks, the lights in the neighbor, heed the melody of a Christmas, notice the children running on the streets waiting for a car to stop.. Definitely, its Christmas time. And upon mulling over, the foreign emotion started to grow bigger that made my body to be in a disconcerting thought. Am I excited? Are all of the emotions concerning with the event that I have ignored since I was a child moved back? Am I starting to see what’s different on a December 24 and 25 than any other holidays? What “Merry Christmas” really is? But the more questions I have, the deeper I tumble to equivocalness.

 Thinking and thinking about the event shaken me. It’s December. The last month of the year. Continuing to contemplate, I felt burdened. What’s good with the season? What makes it so exciting? Why people are so happy about it? What made the day merry? And with this, I sighed. I’m not really excited about Christmas, I am frightened by it. Cause everyone will be bound again with love and happiness that I don’t understand. Yet again I will be left watching them drown to happiness while wondering and trying to fathom it, to be the same.. And it’s sad.

Letter of Inquisition

To whom it may concern:

Ma’am, how come you were able to break my self-esteem regarding on my genuineness to other people? How come you were able to prove that you can’t please everyone? How come you had marked my worth as not significant? How come it is so easy for you to remain high yet you can still say things that make you look polite? If it’s not for them I won’t bother to ask. If it’s not for them I won’t be moved. This is not usual for me, that is why I admire your attitude for being so assured that everything is better left not be fix to be okay. One thing that I am hoping for is to have the acceptance that not all people are good. And being bad is enough reason for you to care less.  But I think His teaching is more influential than agony..

Sir, I just noticed that you are so neglectful that even the foremost reasons for each issue are being abandoned and never resolved. Have you forgotten that you said terrible things that put someone into a place that she almost lost her faith? And one thing Sir, I just want to ask where is your confidence coming from? I have once envy you for imposing this position that you have done nothing wrong and you are also just a victim. But now, I pity you. Upon thinking, I’m much better. Because I still know how to remain high for not be drowned to malevolence and able to keep myself low for the modesty that I cannot have it all.

Ma’am, why can’t you be proud of me? Are you hiding me into your world? Why are you so indolent and afraid to explain things involving me? Am I not worthy for the revelation and reasons? Why are you too weak to make a stand? Why are you too coward to act on your belief? I’m just puzzled on how you reacted. I can still feel that I have your friendship but I also feel that you are trying to keep things on a safe zone. And what puzzled me more is that, whom you are protecting? And with this, I cried. With your every actions and lame reasons make me move 2 steps away from you. You're just too weak to protect your friend, but too courageous to grasp misguided deed of one of your blood. But with each experience with you made me feel thankful and blessed for what I have and what I don’t. For who I am and for who I’m not.

Sir, I don’t like you. I’m really apologetic for not liking my own and seeing only side that I am not fond of. Maybe I’m still attached to norms. But I can see how insincerely you are. I love Him and I am afraid of Him, that’s why I am into this embarrassment of not trusting His man. I’m really sorry for this. I know I am not perfect but I’m trying to be better. And I am hoping that someone like you would be my outlet for my spiritual growth. But Sir, I have this great belief that humility and honesty is along with every conveyer of His beauty. As His man, sanctity should be seen, not just by words but also in actions.

Inquisitive,

Me

Dreaming out loud?

People are dreamer. They have lots of dream where in greatness varies. But the common aim goes for one thing; self-contentment.

I’m a visionary. I think a lot and desire a lot, from the most unrealistic down to the plainest thing. I love to draw pictures inside my head and associate each one to make a new story. It may be funny to read this, but my brain is like an area of different location where a shooting is on going for a new film, where the writer, actress and the director plays by one person, and that’s me. Scenes happen on what I yearn for; co-actors and actresses arise depending on my scenario. And along with my every story is gladness because of this so called self-worth.

For every dream that I made is another positive check for me; For every story that took place is like a patch of ease to my weary soul; For every fantasy I deem is another hope for me to be keen enough and wake each day for the purpose of living it. I love dreaming, but there’s one question that got me, can I produce it?

My Teacher, My Hero

My cousin asked me to do this essay as his assignment, and i think it will be a good idea if I'll share it here =)

“Does a hero still exist today?” questions that caught my attention and moved me in a profound world that made me ponder on the subject given, does a hero still exist today?

I believe a person does not need to sacrifice life, nor fight a thousand battles to be named hero. Indeed I think that heroism is being your self and trying to make a difference for a common good.  Changing someone's life for the better is what makes anyone a hero. And upon mulling over  I began to see these individuals that people usually categorize their jobs as simple and monotonous; to give lectures and quizzes, to check papers, and  to give grades, an actions that most likely they have done for several times. TEACHERS.

 

We students spend most of our time in school and they say that a teacher is our second parent that holds responsibility in taking care of us when we are away home. Have you given any thought how hard it is for teachers to be a parent for almost 30+ different children? To be creative for everyone to hold the subject they impart? Teachers must be open to many different types of people, and be respectful on unlike ideas and culture; because children from lots of different backgrounds are going to be together in one classroom. And with this, one should be equipped with enough skill to be able to catch everyone’s attention to draw participation.  Do you know how hard it is to wake up early in the morning to get on class ahead of time only to manage late-comer students? How tiring it is to travel for an hour to be in a place you are not familiar with and deal with stubborn children for a whole day? How wearing to study every night for the preparation of your lesson? How challenging to save your own money for school expenses? I think we are all aware of these but how come we never dare to give them recognition.

For me teachers are an unknown heroes who don’t have any fancy costume, magnificent name to be easily remember, nor superpowers to save a day, all they have are chalk box and lesson plan and a lot of determination to communicate knowledge in one’s futile mind. Teachers constantly look for the best that leads to a lot of inspiration for us to be motivated to reach distinction. Teachers are the ones who pushes us the most to do our best and to learn something new. Aside from this, teachers affect our values.  Math, Science, English-- subjects that are all important, but we need love, encouragement, someone to talk to, and someone to listen and teachers never fails to provide honest example. They never miss the mark to make us feel valued and to give us confidence to stand in our ideas.

Teachers shape our lives the best way they can. Though with the little salary they are earning, they continue to teach to be an instrument for social change. They play an important role on our success because of their undying encouragement for us to reach our goal and for us to be better person in our society. And I believe not all of us have the courage to do this. Not all of us will be passionate enough to use his life conveying knowledge and values in a group of people who seldom see his worth.

Teachers modify our future, who we are in the future is the product of how we were guided by our teacher in the past. Their words and actions will affect us not just for days but maybe can go on for years even after we aren't in contact with one another. Like what Henry Adams said—“A teacher affects eternity, he can never tell where his influence stops.”

Once again FS.

It’s a new day, and I can’t still find the drowsiness for me to sleep. And because of wanting to find my lethargy and thinking that I might find it on the internet, I spent an hour reading and reading those entries that I made and were given to me on a site that people tend to visit before (when it was on its craze).  Aw.. I just realized, I missed my account’s content. I missed the testimonials that have been given. I missed the layouts. I missed FRIENDSTER! =p

Maybe one of the reasons why I could not find the courage to deactivate my account on that networking site (though I seldom visit it) is because of the different matter contained within it.  From my “about me” and testimonials given by friends from all level of life, from different occasion and happenings that my existence aboard, school days, it all matter!

Let me share some part of it here ^__^

About me: (who am i??)

Passing the board exam. (indeed, issa was more excited when she heard the news, i was sleeping then and boom! text brigade it was. haha.)

Birthday! (she's a college friend, and after transferring to another school i never expected that she will remember such event like this. how thoughtful.)

                            

Elementary pals (this men, my gulay! they never forget how to annoy me. im one of the guys ika nga nila, that's why they never treated me like a girl! haha!)

                             

                            

High school (never really expected these testi actually, i thought we were just being casual. hehe. but after the event we've made a good friendship.)

College (this is where we started. i can honestly say that i have been very transparent to my college friends, accepted or not, i didn't care. but in the end i realized, positive or not, i was understood.)

Upon browsing it again I just realized, maybe there’s one thing facebook can’t give to me. The gladness I feel every time I read those testi and those comments that have been posted. Oh yeah, it’s nice to see that whenever you put up something unto your wall, someone will like or give an opinion about it. But describing who you are (be on a negative or positive side) is much more moving (for me I guess) than agreeing to someone’s opinion. Perhaps because of that confirmation you will be able to learn the reflection that you have carried on the different mirror of your life. Or simply because, who I am, for me, it is significant. ♥_♥

Homecoming.

Trees swing in harmony as gust of wind continues to pass through the window. While chirping birds create a melody the dawn begins to arrive.

Dazzle spreads; the girl dwelling from slumber is awakened by the rays of light that struck her.  As she open her eyes, the unusual bright welcomed her. Looking everywhere waiting for a familiar sight, she found none.  Looking at her hands, the chain that tied her is broken. Watching at the wide sky, the dark atmosphere she commonly gaze up is replaced by clouds soaked in a blue stream. Looking over the room; the door that has been closed for like century is now inviting her to see the other side of the chamber. She’s certain, it’s a new place.

Trying to find companion she wander in the endless road. Taking every step ahead of her, with no direction, she doesn’t feel lost. The unfamiliarity gave her comfort.  

She run, until her lungs started to fill out air swiftly. She screams, until her body pleaded her to halt. Lying under the boundless firmament, she laughs until tears immerse her eyes.

As tears continue to flow, she fathom; she’s not a stranger lying in the infinite sky. She’s not a visitor running with no direction. She’s not an alien screaming for attention.  For indeed she’s in the right place. Taking a deep breath she felt confidence, existing in darkness might blinded her to see light; Living in chains may perhaps cease her from moving. But after being trap into a black hole, at long last, she’s home. Finally, she’s freed.

Ahead of my time

It’s August! And I’m really excited when the month comes. (Yeah, because my birthday falls under it. Hehe.) And while occupying myself in the thought (Sta. Monica of Savage Garden is on the background) men.. The thinking just diverted from excitement to a deep idea on what will I be on the future, on what I really want to be..

This is me. Always dwelling on thinking what’s store for me, and like with the others, uncertainty and fear are there. Having this masters program is my way to reach my goal, but being in school right now gives me so much fright, and it sucks my energy too much that whenever I have a free day my body tends to be on lethargy. (in short tinatamad ako magaral sa bahay. Haha!)

Anyway, back to the question, what I want to be in the future???

I want to be a..

Traveler—I want to see the wonders in every site that God has made. I want to seize sunset in every wonderful place. I want to visit Venice and try the Gondola ride. I want to be in Korea and see their autumn; I want to be in Singapore to witness their regulation. I want to be on Greece to see Athens, the place of their deity’s history. I want to witness the world =)

Musician—playing different instrument is cool. I want to learn how to play piano, and still sharpen my skills in organ and guitar. I also want to continue what I have learned on being a drummer. O yeah, I love music though it seems like it doesn’t love me back.

Astronomer—Hell. I just love the galaxy, the stars the moon. And I know being an astronomer is a way to be near on observing more of them. I just want to see the nebula, the aurora, and the different spectacle a light could make. I want to lie down under the infinite stars.  Staring at them makes my body to hibernate. =D

Adventurer—I’m into sports. But I like to have more! (greedy. Hehe) Just want to try action that will make my body to be bone tired. Extreme sports maybe.. Racing for instance, woah! I want to go fast!

Researcher—I want to be on a research field maybe because of the title. I want to be called a scientist. Haha! Yeah, it does mean that I want to be on FNRI-DOST. I also want to be on DOH and more be on WHO! (aim high aby! lol.) perhaps its on my blood as a nutritionist. I want to perceive how health affects the society and be able to make an impact on change.

Writer—I am a blogger. And since I’m not really a talker, writing for me is relieving. Black and white serves as my conveyor to the outside world, and I think doing it can make me express myself more and be understood further. I want to be on a magazine or any health portion article.

Nutritionist—be on Fonterra! Haha. Men.. Having this master’s degree for nutrition is because of that dream of involvement. I just want to be an effective nutritionist, teach part-time but still working on a corporate world. I just want to earn a lot of money and still practicing my profession. MONEY! lol.

I want to be more. 

More, but never forgets who made her. More, but still can look back where she came from. More, but feet are still on the ground. =)

uttering..

Reading those lines and checking her fb acct makes no difference. I’m still aggravated. And to make it harder, I’m not allowed to speak about it, I’m not accepted to give a comment, and all that is left is for me to pretend that it’s nothing. I was doomed to be annoyed. It’s the consequence for coming after my core, a misfortune maybe.

I miss zab, the one who listens thoroughly.

I miss issa, the one who gets the emotion.

I miss em, the one who never fails to be an ally.

I miss gen the one who laughs with my ideas.

I miss margi the one whose temper serves as my buffer.

I miss talking and be accepted. I miss being me but still embraced genuinely. I just want my dwelling to come back, but after the realization I just learned that I never had it on the first place. I’m just a refugee waiting to be home..

Midnight Train to Georgia

It may sound so weird if I'm going to say that for almost two days, this song is the only thing in my playlist. (how come I can still say its a playlist? lol) but i do! my gulay! I can listen to this song all day long.


A powerful voice plus a great song. It's like hearing it for the first time. Best rendition so far.. The soul!

Speaking in Letter

That was the first time I asked permission to the superior for the inconvenience that I might be able to bring on sleeping over. I did it with purpose. One cause I know that I’m going to stay for 2 nights sharing for their funds, two cause I know that being there might change their routine for a while. Respect is along with the approval. And upon allowing being there, I know that it will be of great help for my part. And I was thankful. I know that was something different and good, cause for the first time I directed my request to the elder.

But I was shocked to know what really happened. Because at her age I am asking for a little maturity beyond any circumstances. Maybe I expected much. Didn’t I? It was fun to know the truth, but it was also offending to be aware of the details.

Now it feels like being there is more of a burden. Is 2 nights too much? And thinking time and again makes my body to demand for a foul! Though I wasn't really the issue, my existence made the matter to arise. And that what makes it unpleasant.

Giving the comfort place of the house owner to the visitor is nothing really for a host. It’s a house rule for those who are hospitable. But there, it’s like so unjust! Saying that she is the one entitled is also like saying “shame on you aby! That’s my area!”. I thought everything was fine, but my presence just brought distress to the titleholder. If that’s the case I was better left not to be permitted, it would be fine sometimes to make an alibi.

It’s not only the relatives that can feel the embarrassment on what the subject is about, but also the visitor who felt that she was an obligation that’s holding each others security. And going back there is shameless.

I’m neither mad nor bothered, but I’m offended and disappointed.

Over and Done

Read between the lines.

Im jealous, im mad.

Im afflicted im sad.

Im annoyed, and I snubbed.

We talked. And we hurt each other once more. And upon checking page by page, I got this notion that I can’t own someone completely, no matter how I want, there will always be something left for me not to be close. There will always something for us to be different, for us not to understand, for us to enjoy other’s companionship. And with this, the fight dies down. I can’t be someone that I don’t like for us to speak again. I won’t do it.

I can’t be with someone who doesn’t give attention.

I can’t be with someone who’s asking for me to be different.

I can’t be with someone who make promises and forget about it.

I can’t be with someone who never tries.

I can’t be with someone who builds false hope.

I can’t be with someone who can’t take risk.

I can’t be with you.

Begrudge that you are normal, miserable cause I’m still not. Suffering cause you have diversion, outraged to curse you now.

Amity in depth

Friendship. How do we define it? Me? I don’t know. Haha! Is this the unity of souls? umm.. Maybe.

After thinking on what happened, I became conscious that we really can’t take each other’s extremities. And how comic it is, the realization occurred after how many years. Maybe it’s true, that blood is thicker than water, and because of that I need to be more restrained in breaking my silence. Yeah.. Today I learned, not every person who can make you smile and you can laugh with would understand how mean you could be. And with this, I suddenly miss my college friends. Those who can pace with my cruelty, those who can laugh and can spoil my brain wave. The person who could understand and make me recognize why we are different, why I am like this, and embracing every inch of my unkindness and have the courage to direct me.

 Perhaps this is how I understood friendship. It’s not just unity of souls, it’s not being the same and having the same thought but it’s more of the acceptance no matter how drivel a talk could be, how different philosophy turning around, being bold to point, and being sensitive on how to show the way. I just remember what Margi said “iba kasi si abe, pero naiintindihan ko sya, kasi...”. And now I understand why I felt at ease after hearing those words, because I know, finally I found someone who would not just believe, but also finding why she does..

Don't English me, I'm bleeding!

“Inglesera!”

This is the common word I always hear from my friends every time they are able to find my stuff. (I mean letters) Yow! What the?! And when I was on the bus this afternoon, I became bother and think, am I like that?? I never wanted to have this glow that I’m trying to portray something that I am not, and hearing those things and pondered about it made me feel unsettle that maybe saying those things time and again is their way to say that I am acting the way I should not be. And when I came home, and have the time to browse the drives and old notebooks, those letters composed from the idle moments, made me realized, hell.. I am! Haha! I am an Inglesera! =D

I love writing (certainly), but using English as my primary medium doesn’t mean I’m trying to make myself above anyone. Yes I’m a critic, but it also doesn’t mean that I’m the best.  Being a commentator is my way to say that “hey, there something for you to correct”. I can say that lot of times I’m able to find my faults in constructing my symbol, but still it doesn’t stop me for being faultfinder.  It’s just that, I’m a learner, and up to now I know that I am in the interminable line to know more about the means. That’s why I want everyone to find their lapse especially if they are motivated to use the language. For the better. For their sake. Cause I know we are all in the race for learning more.

Now, I am a self-proclaimed “inglesera” but to make things clearer its not my way to create this impression that I am better than someone else, im just a learner! And im on practice. =)

Bon Voyage

Another first time, and up to know I don’t know how I am going to deal with it.

Life is short, and with what happened, I realized that the maxim is true. You will never know when will be your last laugh, your last cry, your last breathe. Up from this moment, his enthusiasm is the only thing I could envision. And not accepting perhaps is due to what I used to see, that “dying” is intended more for the old ones, and never given a thought that it is really inevitable that even young people can’t deny it.

Actually until now I feel guilty. Maybe as friends we used not to communicate that often, and as me, the one who always awaits for the text got it all wrong this time. Upon waiting for him to remember me, I wasn’t able to think that maybe, it’s him who waits for me to do the retention. And I sucked. Really, I don’t know if I’m selfish for not wanting him to go or I’m just unready for his departure. But either, I don’t have a choice but to face the fact that a friend died. My friend died.

Chuva, for all the annoyance that you had brought, for all the tears you caused because of the undying laughter, for all the hardship that we exerted every time we grouped ourselves in every activity, friend I salute you. You taught me how to aim high and never be discouraged by the things around me. By imparting courage, you enlighten me to go after my goals. And thank you. Now, the only person I know who have the same thought and dreams like mine has already gone, but your memories that have been engraved to my mind would live forever. You may never know how much I love you. But I think you know that being your friend is one of the colorful things happened in my college years. Thank you and goodbye..

Unknown Clash

Moving around on a crowdie corner

Carrying strength for an unjustly battle

Trying to fight on people’s rage

She filled herself with bulk of faith.

Settled to finish the fuzzy race

She endured to move from every place

Looking for something to make her whole

She faced her crusade with full of hope.

Fighting and living day by day

Brawling until she feel strained

Believing that a warrior is who she is

She forgot to deem why she exist.

Here I am University

Enrollment is now closed. Finally! After 5 days of wandering fom UPD and UPM I had my official list of subjects that I need to have for this sem.

My gulay. Enrolling at UPD really gave me this exhaust that I’d never had when I was at PUP. Strolling at different buildings for you to have the required subjects. Look for your own elective. Choosing where will you get it. My.. BIRTH PAIN!! Glad that I can finally say that I’m done with that..

Student again. After 2 years of drifting from work to relaxation. Honestly I’m not really excited on what I’ll be facing. It’s more of a worry. Because I know that ill be dealing with different professionals under our field. And I’m just scared. The more I feel frightened because of self-doubt, the more stupid I become. I’m just nervous that I might not be able to take my sleeve off and show who I really am. Ma’am ivy told me that I should never let my insecurity lured me, cause it might lead to slippery slope, but I just cant get the anxiety away..

Molecular Biochemistry. Biostatistics. Principles and Strategies for Population Education. School here I am. Please don’t gobble me, but mold me =)

Bustle barred

Had a total free day and was able to browse the entire drive of my computer. I was able to see those files again; documents from my student years, songs from my chant hunt, pictures which evinced my freedom.. Well, it’s been useful. I got the drift that there are folders that need to remain and need to be removed.

But aside from that I was up to checked those pictures that I’d took whenever my eyes were seized. Well, I’m not really a photographer, and my camera is not the best one but I still want to capture those panoramas that I know worth keeping for. Here are some of them:

Pictures show what I really love, oh yes! I love the moon, the stars, the light, the sky, the serenity a place could give.. Every time I see these pictures it’s like going back to a simpler place. Quiet. Undisturbed. And Im looking forward to catch more photos alike with them. I love grasping serenity as long as its still there. Even if it’s just a range of vision..

Above all these, I got this acceptance that picture certainly is one of the best driving force for us to believe on our dreams.. No matter how hard, far, high a desire could be, having a mark that it is there, one is given a reason not to stop trusting.. Pictures are proof that things that we want are just around the corner, waiting for us to have them..

menang ♥s ham

Scene: A liitle boy hugging his uncle at the back while the other is busy counting his earned coins.

Ham: Tito bibigyan mo ba ko nyan? *hugging him tightly* Syempre naman! *a few seconds after his first statement, not waiting for his uncle’s answer*

The scene never fails to make me smile, so small, sweet and naïve, and yet so assurer. And the little boy.. My nephew.

After a year I had the chance to go back to my beloved province. MINDORO. I miss being there. The gust of wind that cools my body; the chill it gives is still the same, the boredom that was caused by the serene environment, it never fades. Everything here is just so perfect. So undisturbed. Felt a little gloom upon thinking that I was just there to vote. Well, aside from casting my vote, yearning for that little boy was my other reason to have the decision to be home again.

A year after.. as expected, he gained weight, no.. Gained so much weight! And along with that is his undeniable growth. He stands more that his age. And he thinks more than his age group.

Its just 1 year and I felt everything changed so fast. Too fast.. The boy that I usually nurture can now walk alone, fetching me by himself, assisting me to my needs. (give me water though I don’t need to, look for my slippers when I have tough time finding it alone.)

And upon seeing him I wonder, will I have time with him again? Is he still be willing to fetch me and wait outside my room’s window until I got awake from my afternoon nap? Will he still be excited the next time he heard that ill be coming home? Or like the others, he will be just too busy playing. And weighing those things up make me cheerless. I really don’t want the boy to get older, because honestly, I’m anxious about the idea that the things we usually do together would just be a part of my sweet past. I’m just afraid that after the visit there will be no ham and menang talking anymore.. But I know, thing won’t work that way.. 1 day or more, Ill be facing my fright. Hope its not soon.. not too soon.

BUTTERFLIES

It’s been months without seeing the guy. I thought I’m over with the butterflies rounding inside my stomach every time I have the chance to see him. But it looks like I’m not. Funny it is, but I acted high school again. Not giving him a glance, waiting for him to take the first move, wishing that he would walk nearby just to say “hi!”. But, he doesn’t.. It seems like we were waiting for each other to grab the opportunity to ask how we are doing lately..

Upon lingering, killing time until he got the courage to speak, somebody texted me. And like with the other messages with mysterious sender, I had this hope that it must be him, “maybe its him.. Hope its him.. Please let this be him.” But again, it wasn’t.

Thinking.. Wondering.. Asking.. Does he feel the same way? Is he just flirting around? Or maybe he only got tired on what he has that’s why he had time for me then. Maybe.. Just maybe.. Hope it just a maybe.

Heart’s beating too fast.. While walking got the chance for us to cross paths. Trying to look straight ahead of me, waiting for him to make his step to catch my attention (though he already does), I wasn’t able to control my head to give him a look, then BANG! His eyes were directed on me. And once more, butterfly it was.

Walking for us to go home, we were side by side. I wanted to take little steps, wanting to slower the time, but just like with the others, it didn’t happen. Parting came, and a tap from him made me realized that he was going to leave us.. It’s a bye again.

And at this point, I’m still thinking on what happened. . I can finally admit that he is my crush. Yes he is. But the guy caught only my attention and deserting my emotion. And with the butterflies brought by him?? Certainly, one day, a glimpse from him won’t be a reason for the butterflies to come back. Yes, he can make my heart beat faster, can make me gasp, can make me act like a teen-ager again, but still at the end of the day, he’s not the one I’m wishing to be with.

He’s not the one I would ask to stay a little longer when parting comes. He’s not the one that would make me feel stronger for the passing days that we won’t be able to see each other. He’s not the one that would teach me how to maturely take everything beyond any circumstances. He’s not the one that I could call my knight.. He’s not that one. :)

*funny, after my last word for this entry, he (crush) texted me. FINALLY. ;)*

Pleased by misfortune

The tour is over. Can’t say that I’m sad cause of the farewell, but neither happy. It’s just like my other jobs. Moving with a routine, living with the demands. But unlike with the others this one made me more receptive with life’s adversity. Upon seeing those houses, talking to those moms and cuddling their kids, I came with the realization that starting a family isn’t hard but securing to meet their needs is.

92 brgys, 6 different municipalities, 1 province. My passage to see the insufficiency; dearth with food, clothes, guidance but not with laughter. Certainly, people my scarce with almost everything but not with laughter. With this tour, I had the opportunity to encounter and perceive different kind of people (moms, community, brgy officials) and other ways of living. (from the dessert up to the sea, from streams going to lifted land, from wheat field going to surfaced area.)

Along with the busy campaign for the upcoming election, my team and I also involved ourselves with this campaign for child’s proper nutrition, and with the numbers of the participants who accepted our invitation, for me, our triumph has already given out.

And with my team.. This is the first time I handled someone who’s older than me.. well, some of them are.. But still, i am thankful to them. For the guidance and “sino bang boss dito?” line that shows their respect for me. They may be lazy sometimes, hard headed often times, but still, without them, supervising wasn't necessary, and a good output was unattainable.

Another JOB is over. And along with the others, new learning have been gained.. Not academically, but still something highly significant—VALUES.