BUTTERFLIES

It’s been months without seeing the guy. I thought I’m over with the butterflies rounding inside my stomach every time I have the chance to see him. But it looks like I’m not. Funny it is, but I acted high school again. Not giving him a glance, waiting for him to take the first move, wishing that he would walk nearby just to say “hi!”. But, he doesn’t.. It seems like we were waiting for each other to grab the opportunity to ask how we are doing lately..

Upon lingering, killing time until he got the courage to speak, somebody texted me. And like with the other messages with mysterious sender, I had this hope that it must be him, “maybe its him.. Hope its him.. Please let this be him.” But again, it wasn’t.

Thinking.. Wondering.. Asking.. Does he feel the same way? Is he just flirting around? Or maybe he only got tired on what he has that’s why he had time for me then. Maybe.. Just maybe.. Hope it just a maybe.

Heart’s beating too fast.. While walking got the chance for us to cross paths. Trying to look straight ahead of me, waiting for him to make his step to catch my attention (though he already does), I wasn’t able to control my head to give him a look, then BANG! His eyes were directed on me. And once more, butterfly it was.

Walking for us to go home, we were side by side. I wanted to take little steps, wanting to slower the time, but just like with the others, it didn’t happen. Parting came, and a tap from him made me realized that he was going to leave us.. It’s a bye again.

And at this point, I’m still thinking on what happened. . I can finally admit that he is my crush. Yes he is. But the guy caught only my attention and deserting my emotion. And with the butterflies brought by him?? Certainly, one day, a glimpse from him won’t be a reason for the butterflies to come back. Yes, he can make my heart beat faster, can make me gasp, can make me act like a teen-ager again, but still at the end of the day, he’s not the one I’m wishing to be with.

He’s not the one I would ask to stay a little longer when parting comes. He’s not the one that would make me feel stronger for the passing days that we won’t be able to see each other. He’s not the one that would teach me how to maturely take everything beyond any circumstances. He’s not the one that I could call my knight.. He’s not that one. :)

*funny, after my last word for this entry, he (crush) texted me. FINALLY. ;)*