Before and After.

Before 2008

After I graduated from my BS degree I’ll enter med school and will be a successful physician.  I’m going to work in a hospital as one of the most hardworking doctors in the institution I’m in. I’ll earn money more than I spend. I’m going to help my financially challenge relatives. I’m going to enroll Rapha at music school and provide his finances in the University he will choose to go. He’s also going to be a doctor. That’s our dream.  I’m going to travel and take all the pictures of the sceneries that seized my eyes. I’m going to buy all the novels I like and put it in the library of the house I dreamt of. The dream house. I’m going to attend church every Sunday and give back to God the blessing He extended to me.  I’m going to be happy, successful and strong.

After 2008

3 years had passed and I’m still trying to be somebody.  Killing my self reading and reading book chapters and several articles for me not to get behind on every discussion we will be conducting now and then. Yes I’m still a student. But not in med school. Taking Masters I guess is one of the edges a young professional could have to get ahead on his field. And I guess that’s the reason why I enrolled.

I don’t have time to buy novels. But I have tons of book chapters that must read.

I don’t have money to travel, but I have lots of picture where I seized my childhood.

I wasn’t able to enroll Rapha in a music school but I’m working to confer our fees and gears at taekwondo.

I’m not graduating this year in med school but I’m trying to get my first step to be in next year.

Did I dream too much? You may call me a dreamer, but didn’t you have illusions too? Or don’t you still? Am I happy? After 3 years of working into nothing, wanting something that I’m not bearing, having something that I don’t want, gaining knowledge from something that I didn’t expect to bump in, being stronger to get on track. Why wouldn’t i?

I may be envy with my friends a lot of times. But Rapha told me once “hindi naman sila nagma-masteral di ba?” Sometimes option on leaving school and start looking for a full time job occurred to me, but whenever I think of that, I know that’s not me. It’s not the way I think. I don’t stop because of jealousy, I don’t quit because of short-time desires.

We dream and we hope. We work and we pray.  But some things delivered by a behindhand courier. So we dream and we hope again and then we stop trusting and start accepting what is being offered by the current.  Yep, this happened to me, but my dreaming unit just hide for wanting, not died.  You may call me unpractical. But Im not in a hurry. Who’s anyway?

You may call me a nobody, I know I’m still. But I know the finest suture is the one been worked in time. And God’s working on me. We are working on it.