I’m not really a holiday person. I don’t see events as exciting one, and never gaze for calendar to see if there’s any day marked as red aside from Sundays. But upon browsing my twitter account and seeing those tweets, and hearing the Coca Cola’s Christmas tune (that made me fell in love again with the band) I suddenly felt a tweak of sensation that drove me to this area of emotion where I’ve never been before. Unexpectedly, I fantasize what my Christmas would be..
I swiftly see my jacket, red socks, the lights in the neighbor, heed the melody of a Christmas, notice the children running on the streets waiting for a car to stop.. Definitely, its Christmas time. And upon mulling over, the foreign emotion started to grow bigger that made my body to be in a disconcerting thought. Am I excited? Are all of the emotions concerning with the event that I have ignored since I was a child moved back? Am I starting to see what’s different on a December 24 and 25 than any other holidays? What “Merry Christmas” really is? But the more questions I have, the deeper I tumble to equivocalness.
Thinking and thinking about the event shaken me. It’s December. The last month of the year. Continuing to contemplate, I felt burdened. What’s good with the season? What makes it so exciting? Why people are so happy about it? What made the day merry? And with this, I sighed. I’m not really excited about Christmas, I am frightened by it. Cause everyone will be bound again with love and happiness that I don’t understand. Yet again I will be left watching them drown to happiness while wondering and trying to fathom it, to be the same.. And it’s sad.
